As a former Journalism student, I like to keep myself up-to-date with current events. I do this by reading headlines. Not articles, just the headlines. Articles have too many words.
Anyway, some headlines are…well, stupid. They can be misleading, vague or easily misconstrued.
If some of these dumbass headlines appeared in your Facebook news feed, you would definitely Facebook stalk the status of the involved party:
HEADLINE: New Hope for Hepatitis C, An often Hidden Disease
Hepatitis C’s Status: Finally! I’m more popular than A AND B!!!! Who says the youngest can’t be the best? Try forgetting about me now, world!
HEADLINE: Family Prepares Slain Newlywed’s Funeral
Slain Newlywed’s Status: Wish the fam would at least let me have a honeymoon before sticking me in a coffin.
HEADLINE: Palin: ‘I Am Not Going To Shut Up’
Everyone’s Status: Yeah. We know.
HEADLINE: Chernobyl: Nature Haven or Toxic Hellhole?
Chernobyl’s Status: What? I can’t be both?! Why does Alaska get to be both?!
HEADLINE: Shooting Victim Sorry for “Misplaced Outrage”
Shooting Victim’s Status: I mean…I got shot. There’s no need for me to get all angry about it. My apologies. Next time I almost die I’ll keep it cool.
HEADLINE: In Pursuit of Qubits, Uniting Subatomic Particles by the Billions
Everyone’s Status: WTF?
