There are certain factions of Facebook's population that struggle to comprehend the language of Facebook. They find themselves asking, what is a friend? Why would someone poke me? How can you successfully play tag on the internet? What's the point of writing on someone's wall? It's not even a real wall! And what is this home page nonsense?
This issue is most prevalent in citizens of Detroit, Ireland, Fraternities and Christian Fundamentalism. In its never ending quest to bend over backwards and please everyone (because it has no spine), Facebook has developed customized vernacular settings for individuals encountering troubles having common fucking sense.
DETROIT USERS
A "friend" is referred to as "dealer"
To "poke" someone is to "bend over in the prison shower"
To "tag" someone is to "bust a cap in that ass"
To "write on someone's wall" is to "graffiti yo shit all over that train"
A "home page" is referred to as "meth lab"
IRELAND USERS
A "friend" is referred to as "whatever's on tap"
To "poke" someone is to "hurl yar guinness in their face"
To "tag" someone is to "put yar wife in 'er place"
To "write on someone's wall" is to "kiss their blarney arse"
A "home page" is referred to as "the pub"
FRATERNITY USERS
A "friend" is referred to as either "skank" or "bro"
To "poke" someone is to "bang that slut's brains out"
To "tag" someone is to "ICE"
To "write on someone's wall" is to "sharpie a cock on their forehead"
A "home page" is referred to as "free clinic"
CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALIST USERS
A "friend" is referred to as "Jesus"
To "poke" someone is to "graciously force them to accept Jesus as their savior"
To "tag" someone is to "admonish Satan from their secular soul"
To "write on someone's wall" is to "fulfill their book of devotions"
A "home page" is referred to as "Bible Camp"
REDNECK USERS
A "friend" is referred to as "Toby Keith"
To "poke" someone is to "is that gay sex? I ain't gay! God damn it!"
To "tag" someone is to "tattoo your name on their ass"
To "write on someone's wall" is to "put your GED to use"
A "home page" is referred to as "the double wide"
