I have deactivated my Facebook account, and in doing so sealed off my portal to the college social realm—a realm of one night stands and binge drinking and pregnancy scares that I am now far-removed from. Although when I was a member of academia, I was a mere spectator to such tomfoolery. Never a risk-taker, I was the awkward wall-flower, the fat ugly friend often mistaken for a lesbian, squished between two face-sucking couples on a vintage couch stained with Natti Light and Herpes.
Ah, college.
What was I thinking, dropping out? And with only one semester left?
This is what I was thinking: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
As so many college students do, I found myself in the uncontrollable downward spiral of an identity crisis. No longer did I want to be a hardworking career woman silhouetted by city lights, a metaphor wearing a chic pencil skirt. Nor did I want the high-end free lance writing career, the elitist cocktail parties in spacious lofts, the gay best friend that snaps his fingers fabulously and says, “FIERCE!” No, I didn’t want any of that.
I didn’t want to stay in school, stay where I was, stay on the path to that life.
So I decided to leave. I decided to stray from that path—the path I have been blazing.
And what is the one nagging, constant reminder of that path? Of that girl I used to be? That girl everyone thinks I am?
Facebook.
And thirty unwanted pounds sitting nicely on my hips. That’s a reminder, too. But you can’t deactivate fatness. Case in point: Oprah.
Anyhow, life without facebook (which, in case you haven’t caught on, is a metaphor for my college social life) is boring, lonely and filled to bursting with free time. So, what do I do with my free time?
I start a blog. A blog dedicated to the things that go on in my head without Facebook here to control my life. Oddly enough, most of these thoughts seem to manifest themselves within the social device constructs Facebook creates…
