Anderson Cooper recently inboxed all of his friends on Facebook with the latest update from the War in Afghanistan:
Anderson Cooper here reporting for MSNBC, and I have to say that the Peeny Tap War in Afghanistan is far more horrific than the government will have you believe. Children as young as 9 are being trained as soldiers for this crotch-slapping Jihad. Innocent civilians are busting nuts left and right, falling victim to surprise attacks and suicide bombings--or an attack in which the tapper has no protection of his peeny, leaving it open and vulnerable.
I.E.D.s', Improvised Erectile Dysfunctions claim the lives of dozens of U.S. soldiers' manhoods every day, leaving the Afghani streets a completely unnavigable mess. Not even the hot chick from CSI could get through here.
It's really bad guys. I myself have been Peeny Tapped and my black and blue balls are proof that Peeny Warfare is no joke. In fact, my family jewels are so damaged that an army surgeon has informed me that all of my children will be retarded.
This is Anderson Cooper, reporting from Afghanistan.
