Anderson Cooper's Mass Message

Anderson Cooper recently inboxed all of his friends on Facebook with the latest update from the War in Afghanistan:

Anderson Cooper here reporting for MSNBC, and I have to say that the Peeny Tap War in Afghanistan is far more horrific than the government will have you believe. Children as young as 9 are being trained as soldiers for this crotch-slapping Jihad. Innocent civilians are busting nuts left and right, falling victim to surprise attacks and suicide bombings--or an attack in which the tapper has no protection of his peeny, leaving it open and vulnerable.
I.E.D.s', Improvised Erectile Dysfunctions claim the lives of dozens of U.S. soldiers' manhoods every day, leaving the Afghani streets a completely unnavigable mess. Not even the hot chick from CSI could get through here.
It's really bad guys. I myself have been Peeny Tapped and my black and blue balls are proof that Peeny Warfare is no joke. In fact, my family jewels are so damaged that an army surgeon has informed me that all of my children will be retarded.
This is Anderson Cooper, reporting from Afghanistan.

Even Trash has a Facebook

These are REAL statuses from my favoritest, trashiest, most stalkable facebook friends:

ITS LIKE U SAY U LOVE ME THEN LOOK AT ME N TREAT ME LIKE TRASH. BUT IF U LOVED ME U WUD NO ME AND NO YOU SHUD TREAT ME LIKE TREASURE. PAST IS PAST. LOVE IS REAL. ACTIONS R LOUDER THAN WORDS. THE VIBE U GIVIN...Y AINT U TOOK YO TRASH OUT? AFRAID SUMONE MITE PICK IT UP AND C IT FOR WAT IT IS? IF U WAITN ON TIME TO CHANGE YO WAYS DNT WAIT TOO LONG


I want 2 thank my GOD for wakin me up dis morning and Thank GOD for puttin all my postive ppl in my life and letting me leave the negative ppl alone that wants 2 put me down all the time THANK U GOD I LOVE U


You males need to quit lyin to us females. We know when you're doing we just disregard it because ya'll will defend it to the end!


Click on "Like" if I've ever made you smile in your life. Then, set this as your status and see how many people you have made smile. Play along and re-post it


You are the most PRECIOUS to me in this world after my Parents (REAL post from a REAL husband to his WIFE...not joking)


~~~~~~DAMN ((EEEEEEVVVVVVVVRRRRYYYYYYYY)) 1 BOO*D UP NOW~~~~~~~~WTF :/

Bono's Newest Song

Songwriter Bono has taken to posting his newest songs on his Facebook fan page. The newest one reflects his most recent visit to Jersey Shore.

So, let’s take a second here

And talk about Jersey Shore

The spray on tans, the greasy hair

And don’t forget the whores

Down on the boardwalk in Jersey

There’s a wonderful kind of life

With snooks, and J-Woww and Chlamydia

GTL every day, party every night

Down on the boardwalk in Jersey

Where sequins and glitter reside

Velour running suits are totally cool

Ed Hardy shirts are stretched so tight

Let’s take a second here

And talk about Jersey Shore

The booty shorts and tramp stamps

And don’t forget the whores

Down on the boardwalk in Jersey

Waking up in vomit ain’t no big

No one will ever judge you

If your Herpes flares up every other week

Down on the boardwalk in Jersey

Those Catholic Italians roam

Eating lasagna, praying the rosary

Gym, tan, laundry, party, home

Let’s take a second here

And talk about Jersey Shore

All those grenades can go and hang themselves

Cause we only want the whores

Don’t forget the whores

Those beautiful Jersey Shore whores